Memorial Day- Think

me·mo·ri·al: adjective

-preserving the memory of a person or thing; commemorative: memorial services

-of or pertaining to the memory

 

Today, I have seen many "Thanks to our troops" comments.  On Facebook, Twitter, billboards, etc.  And it's nice.

But it's not what the veterans in my life have been saying, or most of the military families.

They seem to be the only ones who differentiate between Veterans Day and Memorial Day. 

A short, simple definition is that Veterans Day is a day to appreciate all veterans of all wars.  Memorial Day is a separate day to specifically remember those service members who are dead.

This may seem like the same thing to many.  And those groups can overlap.  But to those involved in the military world...it's a world of difference.  It's the difference in celebrating Father's Day at church with your dad, or at Arlington National Cemetery with a headstone.  It's the difference in drinking a beer with your friends, or with pouring one out for them alone in the backyard.  

It is a world of difference.

When a veteran is thanked or wished a "happy" memorial day, or when a Gold Star family (the family of a service member who was KIA- killed in action) sees everyone posting about cookouts and a awesome three day weekend...these attitudes can cause some frustration.  

Because for them, today is not a happy day.  Today is a day to keep the memory alive of those are no longer with them.  Today is a day that may have some happy moments, but will also most likely have some tearful ones.

So please think before posting, or texting, or even the old-fashioned talking.  Think about what this day is supposed to mean- what it does mean to those who are actually mourning their fallen.

Graduation & Vistors

My parents and ILs came to Colorado last weekend for my graduation ceremony.

It was definitely weird to see my parents in Colorado.  They had never flown before and I was a bit worried about them navigating through the airports.  Also, my mom doesn't even like many carnival rides so I was worried that she would start freaking out on the plane (the hubs just kept saying "Your poor Dad.  Your poor Dad having to take her on a plane).  Anyway, they did okay except for the fact that the plane ride was difficult for my dad (who has health issues).  It was also just weird because Colorado has been our place.  Where B & I have lived all alone and just had each other, while our families were back in North Carolina.  So to see these two totally separate parts of our lives suddenly meet up was just a bit odd.  But it was nice at the same time too.

Saturday when it was time for graduation, the husband went to drop me off at the State Fairgrounds (because ya know, that's a classy place to have a graduation ceremony!).  I felt bad that it was held there, it just seemed...well, not academic when I'm standing in The Palace of Agriculture (I mean what was it, NC State?  Hehe).  Of course traffic was backed up so I just got out and walked.

BAD IDEA!  I wore these heels that were just absolutely adorable.  I mean seriously, I love them.  But they SUCK.  And walking across a cracked parking lot in them was...dangerous.

When I got to the PoA there was almost no organization at all.  I saw someone that I had a class with and stood with her.  After talking to her, I got some disappointing news.  I should have had a Psi Chi stole to wear that day.  However, when I talked to my adviser she did not mention the fact that I needed to come by and pick it up at her office.  I thought she would be there on graduation day to hand them out; instead she went on vacation.  So I didn't have it.  It may be dumb, but I was really upset about it.  I earned those damn recognition stoles and I wanted them.  I am not a girl who wears nice clothes, lots of makeup, or fancy jewelry.  Those things don't matter.  But this, this mattered to me.

Anyway.  I did have my cum laude cords so I wasn't completely blank.  I stood there in line talking...and taking off my shoes.  Because they sucked.  After over an hour of this (really, WTH did they say to get there so early?!), we finally lined up (you would be shocked and dismayed to have seen how long it took for college graduates for form a freakin' line) and marched over the same crappy parking lot (my feet were already killing me).  Then we went in to the building where all the families and friends were waiting.  I was very very worried about falling because of my crappy shoes.  But I did not.  I did, however, take them off as soon as we got to the seating area.  My feet needed a break, okay?

There was the usual pomp & circumstance.  People complain about these ceremonies: Oh they take so long, the speakers are so boring, blah blah blah.  But I love them.  It's an important rite of passage in my opinion, and I was very thankful to be a part of it.  The best speaker by far was definitely the class president.  I don't know him personally, but his speech was the only one I actually found inspiring and not boring.  People also complained that some students took beach balls and were throwing them around.  I enjoyed it, and I preferred playing with the beach ball over just sitting there waiting for a few hundred people to line up behind me.  Most of the people around me didn't like it though (it is startling to be randomly hit in the head by a beach ball) so it wasn't as fun as it could have been.
 

I was also upset because I forgot to decorate my cap!  I think it's a fun thing to do and a good way to stand out from the crowd, but with everything going on I just completely forgot it.  The mom & MIL said my shoes made me fairly easy to spot though, so they were good for something.

I did not trip on stage, which I half expected.  I managed to see my family as I was leaving the stage :)  And a professor whispered congratulations to me as I left the stage.  I think that was the first moment in a long time where I was genuinely, supremely happy.  Like, nothing can touch me happy.

Of course, then I promptly missed the direction of the line and sat in the wrong place (my friend unfortunately followed me and did the same, but at least I wasn't alone).

And then I had to sit there and listen to them call many, many more people's names. 

Then we went outside, and I waited on my family.  And my mommy gave me roses.  And we took pictures.  And (at least one section of) my college degree is officially, 100% complete.

MIA

I know I have been MIA, but quite frankly I've been too busy/tired for blogging.  As I write this, I'm waiting for my Redbull to chill so I chug it & pack the kitchen while the husband naps. 

First it was getting ready for my parents & ILs to come into town for my graduation, which went pretty well.  I feel like I dealt fairly well with the intrusion into my home.  I had major issues last time the ILs came to visit and also a bit when B's friend from high school came.  I just have issues giving up what I perceive to be MY space.  I'm territorial, a bit like a dog.  I might tolerate you here, but I don't necessarily enjoy it.  And it's nothing to do with the people visiting, totally 100% my issue & claim that.  I sound like I have major problems huh?  Anyway.  But I did better this time.  Perhaps because it was my parents and I had already had years of experience with dealing with them, or maybe it's because I have been giving myself pep talks for months to remind myself that I do in fact like these people (love them even) and that the pressure I feel is almost always in my own head and not actually from them.  But I think for the most part everything ever worked out.  Anyway, the blog post chronicling that visit and ceremony needs to be so long and detailed that just the thought of it has made me tired, so I haven't made it yet.

Then we had to get serious about packing, which causes disagreements.  And I stupidly thought I could work this week & also prepare to move, so I have been trying to get shifts covered because I realized I can't do both.  So I'm working/getting shifts covered, packing, canceling utilities, and a bunch of other crap that the thought of just makes me want to roll over and play dead (again, dog like- maybe I am obsessed with them, as the hubby claims).

And somehow, my house does not feel cleaner or neater in any way.  I thought packing things and putting them in nice, neat, labeled boxes would make it feel better...but somehow it's just more messy with random boxes & materials everywhere.  Urgh.

Anyway.  Lots going on.  Lots of stress.  Which leads to loss of appetite & nausea, which leads to dehydration.   Also, I got a canker sore when our families were here (apparently I was only zen & welcoming on the outside...hopefully).  And also my lovely as-of-yet-undiagnosable phalange sores.

So, that's why I've been MIA.  Because I don't have the energy for decent blog posts and I doubt anyone wants to hear my whining.

Review: Heart of the Matter

Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



I should honestly probably wait and write a review after I've had more time to process what I just took in.

The book is told through the eyes of two women. One is married to a doctor, one is the mother of that doctor's patient. It becomes obvious pretty quickly that the doctor strikes something up with the mother.

The book promotes a lot of questions: about exactly what constitutes cheating, is there ever an acceptable reason, does it matter how the spouse finds out, can you ever move past it...many very difficult and upsetting aspects of an unfortunate situation.

For the most part, I was able to relate to the characters. Or, if I couldn't relate to them within myself, I knew someone like them. Cheating is not the only fleshy topic in this story, as it also touches quite well on aspects of motherhood, the sisterhood of women (if this does in fact exist), family and how crazy that organization is, and the materialistic & social pressures so often placed on/accepted by women.

I am not going to say that I enjoyed this book, because the topic makes me uncomfortable (I don't see how someone who has voluntarily stood in front of their family, friends, and God and taken vows which pledged them to another person can think of those vows being broken pleasurably). It is difficult and messy and unfortunate. But Giffin took this messy topic on head first, and for that I applaud her. This story showed the different "shades of gray" so to speak.

I personally related much more to the wife, whether because I am one myself or because Giffin chose to make her portion of the story be told in first person. The patient's mother was understandable at first but eventually became a stereotype and quite annoying. The absence of the man's perspective seemed to symbolize the fact that ultimately, each one of us is responsible for our lives and actions. Those we just to include make choices that affect us, but at the end of every day we make our own choices.



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Review: The Devil's Cradle

The Devil's Cradle by Sylvia Nobel

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



This book was decent, a worthy read but not spectacular. Again, it was part of a series that wish I had read the first part of. Just because I'm a stickler for background information. I don't believe that this took away too much from the story however. The basic premise of the story was intriguing, and not the cookie-cutter type of mystery that seems to be floating around these days. Kendall is fairly easy to like and respect, but her new partner is infuriating at times IMO. The damsel in distress is just not what appeals to me. Like so many other books unfortunately, I felt that the author tried so hard to keep the mystery aspect going that it was "Who did it, who did it, who did it, THISISWHODIDITANDWHY OMG OMG OMG." Maybe I'm just super picky because very few books have been truly pleasing to me lately.



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Review: Tempting Fate

Tempting Fate by Nora Roberts

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



This book was interesting. I enjoyed it much more than the first MacGregors book (Playing the Odds). The main characters in this book were developed more than their siblings from PTO and it was easier to truly get pulled into the story.



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Antsy, but in the Wrong Ways

I should really be cleaning right now.  My parents are arriving soon for my commencement ceremony (ahhhh).  And then my in-laws the day after.  So my house needs to be really really clean.  So I should be cleaning.  But I don't really want to clean.  I'd like to be packing.  But I don't want our family to visit and see just a bunch of boxes.  So we're cleaning.  But then once they are gone, EVERYTHING GETS PACKED!!

We have put in an application for a townhome.  The ILs went to look at some places for us and they apparently really liked this one so they are anxious to hear also.  B is totally freaking out.  He has finals this week and is still waiting on a job situation.  These things are not good for his "lock everything in place immediately" mentality.  I'm hoping that once our families come he will be more relaxed.

I really just want to move.  I dislike the process of moving (i.e. job, house, paperwork, etc) but I really enjoy the feeling of a new start.   I am a bit more apprehensive of this move than in the past however.  It's a new place, but there are some connections and it is closer to our families.  We have not really ever had to incorporate our families into our married life, not for longer than a week anyway. So moving to a new town, attending new schools with new programs, working, and then somehow adding family time in there as well is definitely going to be a challenge for us.  I'm not quite sure what the expectations are and how often we'll be expected to visit/host visitors, and that makes me nervous.  I love my family, I do, I just worry about going from 0% interaction to...unknown% interaction.  Change makes me nervous.

Also we have ended up not liking many places we ended up after while (for instance, our current location which we really can't stand anymore).  I don't want to be like that everywhere we go.  I want to finally be happy in a location and environment. 

And I want B to be happy.  He is a bit picky and also idealistic so I really want this move to fulfill at least most of them. 

Anyway, lots going on.  And instead of actually doing them, I just want to do something crafty.  Either one of the bazillion projects from my Pinterest or re-design my blog (yes, I know, I have ISSUES!).

I realized I have been incredibly slack in blogging lately.  I just haven't really wanted to document what has felt like this crappy period in my life where I am a slacker whose not in school.  I really really have issues not being in school.  I think that is also another issue.  But I haven't wanted to consistently whine either.  So I have just been absent.  But I'm going to do my best to be back.  For instance, this blog here where I'm now whining about moving instead ;)  And then I visited the sand dunes so I can blog and even provide pictures for my next blog!  I'm on the recovery path.  Hopefully....